The Blind Date Marathon: My 'Type'

I wrote this last August. It was published under Pages

What's a Type?

Apparently we all have a 'type'.

I find it difficult to describe, but I have written a list of things which turn me on or off. Most things got on the list because I either admire people who have these qualities or detest people who don't have these qualities. Some reflect my interests. Other things are just plain fetish.

I like a man who:

1) is Intelligent - I don't see academia as the best measure of intelligence. I don’t care what qualifications or formal education they have. But they do have to come across as smart for me to find them sexy.

2) enjoys their food and is not a fussy eater

3) a great cook

3) is not too vain or clean cut.

4) has a great sense of humour

5) enjoys comedy – especially British comedy

5) has good friends of both gender

6) has ginger hair

7) is taller than me (I'm 5"4ish)

8) enjoys big holidays

9) enjoys action/outdoorsy stuff

10) is loyal to his partner/friends/family

11) is not very sexist (we are all a little bit)

12) is polite and friendly to waiting staff and sales people

13) is low on the fundamental attribution error

14) is relaxed around kids in hoodies (colloquially and often unfairly also known as 'chavs')

15) is open towards other cultures and generally relativist but has some solid values of their own

16) is not religious

17) is not a homophobe and has fairly relaxed views on gender

18) is a doer - I like a guy who organises stuff and is always up for new experiences.

19) works for their own keep

20) is hardworking and ambitious but not struggling with their work-life balance

21) has a Catholic background but is not actually Catholic! Not necessary but I like having this in common with people

22) is not snobby

23) has well thought out opinions on important things such as political/social issues and is able to hold his ground in an argument

24) has lots of hobbies and takes an interest in the world

25) follows the news

26) does not argue about money

27) plays sport or exercises

28) gets excited about niche topics

29) is domesticated

30) likes nature and is knowledgeable about the natural world

31) is down to earth

32) is happy to clown around sometimes

33) gets along with my friends

34) is good to his family - family oriented

35) is an ugly musician

36) has a good appetite

37) has a positive attitude to life and society

38) is about 28 years old. 23-33 is probably the suitable range

39) respects animals - not in a weird way, just has an appreciation for them

40) questions me

41) is not passive and can make decisions

42) is witty in conversation

43) is reliable in his word

44) is honest

45) is decisive

46) is dynamic

47) is not afraid to say what he wants

48) is reflective

49) doesn't hate mainstream society

50) is not a social conformist. Has their own style and opinion

51) is kind and doesn't slag people off

52) is not vindictive

53) has a Scottish accent

54) tells good dirty jokes

55) is not a power tripper

56) is relatively thick skinned - not too sensitive

57) loves to try the finer things in life and will splash cash regularly but knows that there are more important things in life

58) is not too babied by his parents

59) is not too green. knows how to survive in the city

60) is generous and enjoys treating others

61) is ambitious in an individualistic way rather than a pushy social climber

62) works in IT - why i don't know

63) is mysterious and quirky

64) is Interested in other cultures including mine

65) is inventive and thoughtful

66) lets themselves be treated by others

67) knows what they like romantically and sexually

68) knows what they want from a relationship.

69) does not have conservative, old fashioned family values and for example does not judge others for raising children out of wedlock

70) enjoys a good drink.

71) does not smoke

72) accepts that other people experiment with illegal drugs and does not judge them badly for it but has no drug habit of their own. i.e. alcohol is their drug

73) Makes things happen. Not a bailer

74) not looking to settle down but not anti-relationships either,

75) Listens and shows that they listen through thoughtful gestures

76) Not too much of a prissy boy although they can have some metrosexual behaviours
77) is not too shallow
78) does not hold shallow views about people because of their social, economic background or family status
79) is easy going not too intense
80) is not too much of a city dweller. Can survive in the sticks
81) flirts a lot
82) is competitive and loves themselves on one level, but self depreciating and makes jokes at their own expense on another
83) is great fun to hang out with
84) laughs a lot

This list might sound a bit strange in places. I have literally just thought about everybody who I have ever been interested in and everybody who has ever put me off.

People tell me that sticking to a type is limiting. They say that you should be open-minded. As part of the blind date exercise I will try to ignore having my 'type'. I am going to go with the flow with whoever my friends set me up with. Say yes to all dates and see what happens!