Saturday, 7 January 2012

Date 19: Ami: My Lesbian 'One Night Stand'


Why the homosexual date?
This post deserves some extra introduction. Not everyone is bi-curious. Most heterosexuals, particularly men, have been baffled by my desire to try and date a woman. But according to an article I read a while back, an increasing number of heterosexual women are opting for Gay one night stands. I must admit that when in Brighton, I witnessed this trend in the cheesy nightclubs I used to visit. Personally, I am more of a dater than a one-night stander, and so I very much doubt that I'll ever be trawling Revenge or lesbian dating sites for some one-night homo fun. And yet I can't help but wonder, am I missing out on something here? Have you seen Peep Show, series 1, episode 4? Cos that's where I was when I chose to try out this date.
I'm still firmly convinced that I like men. But there is no harm in one date as an experiment, right?
Who set me up this time?
 I asked everyone if they knew a lesbian who might be up for the challenge. Unfortunately many of the best lesbians appear to be taken but after much searching I found my girl. It's a bit of a cheat because it ended up occurring through a friend of a friend. Anna introduced me to Louise who put me in touch with Ami. Still, nothing was conventional about this date and I was very excited about it.
What did I know about her?
She went to Brighton uni but now works in London for the NHS. She is described to me as a 'lipstick lesbian'. For those of you who don't know what that means, it is basically a "feminine" lesbian who is attracted to other "feminine" lesbians.
First impressions
Ami was the only person who I let read my blog before going on our date. This is just because I didn't want to misrepresent myself. She said that she thought it was really funny and that she would love to participate for the sake of 'research'. She also warned me that if she turns me and my life gets turned upside down then I mustn't say that she didn't warn me. Ami is not on Facebook but Louise managed to send me a photo of her. Wow! She is very attractive. Ami has big brown eyes, tanned skin, high prominent cheek bones and an uplifting smile. She is small framed and decently curvy. I didn't know whether to feel intimidated or glad.
What happened?
We met at The Strand. I recognised Ami from her photo straight away. Ami was wearing black knitted tights, black suede boots, a cream and grey patterned sleeveless dress, a black fitted coat with fur collar and a paisley green scarf. Unlike the photo that Louise had sent me, Ami's dark hair was strikingly streaked with gold and caramel highlights. Instantly I realised that one advantage of dating a lipstick lesbian is that you get to check out and fully admire their style. I rarely consciously note a man’s style other than a quick 'he looks good.' but with Ami I found myself admiring every detail.
Ami told me that she would like to take me for cocktails and cake or deli board if I didn't fancy something sweet.  I did fancy something sweet. So we had a delicious chocolate and raspberry cake. Ami opted for a dirty martini and I went for the festive special of vanilla, apple vodka and cranberry juice. Good times. Cocktails and cake make a great date especially when you're in the mood for sugar!
Because of Ami's job with the NHS I had expected her to have a degree in health, biology or social care. Actually it turned out that she had graduated 2010 and since then temped at the NHS. She also had a degree in Art and actually wished that she could be doing something more creative. I found it very easy to empathise with her on that point. Ami told me that she was of 'mixed heritage'. She was born in Japan to a British father and a half Japanese, half American mother. I would never have guessed until she said it but it does explain her olive skin, unusually shaped big eyes and distinctive cheek bone structure. We had quite a few things in common. We discussed my peep show dilemma and found out that we both have a passion for awkward comedies.
We had a couple more cocktails. Inevitably, conversation moved to my sexuality. Several Women are so individually styled, beautiful, strong charactered and glamorous that they are awfully fun to eye ball. I'm not going to lie. If you're an attractive woman, whatever size, shape or origin, if you've been in my eye shot for long then I've probably checked you out. But then as Ami pointed out, even homosexual men often like to check out a fit woman. Also I confessed that I has a gay dream probably about once every 1-2 months. Then again, recently I also had an inappropriate dream about some random guy in the office that she hardly speaks to and is not my type at all. I don't fancy him, so merely dreaming about something is really not conclusive.
woman sleeping dreaming of slim belly
Still, Ami said that she was getting gay vibes from me! She's not the first. I have had girls come on to me in the past I boasted. Do you think it is my Tom boy childhood and habits? I always hated dresses and pink. I chose mighty max over polly pocket, Boys McDonalds happy meal over girls and I was the Blue power ranger over pink! But does any of this make me gay? Haha no! Women may be beautiful and lipstick lesbians may be intriguing, I'm still pretty certain i prefer men. Ami laughed at me and said that her gay-dar sucks anyway. Maybe the gay vibes that I was giving off were a result of the fact that I’d agreed to go on a date with her in the first place and also that I just have pervy eyes.
Ami insisted on getting the bill which was unnecessary but generous and appreciated. We said goodbye with a hug and a little kiss. On the cheek. Sorry for my readers who fancied a more scandalous ending to this date!
The date was fun and different. For me, the most surprising thing about the date was how normal and comfortable it felt. I think there is something fun, novel and hot about flirting with a lesbian. Lots have people have asked me what I would have done if she had kissed me on the lips. It might have been good for a one-off. I'm still a gay virgin.

Ami said she had fun and looks forward to reading her blog post! Being the heartfelt lady that I am, I doubt I’ll ever have a proper one night stand. I guess that this is probably the closet to a gay one night stand that I will ever get. At least until I have my mid-life crisis.

What others have said?
You went out with a lesbian?! How did it go? How did it go? How did it go?
Would I see her again?
Potentially we could be good friends. But after our date it might be a bit random. She is interesting to talk to and I do love my strong, creative women!
Would I recommend her to a friend?
Yes if I thought that they would click.

Date Planning 7.5
Rapport 8


  1. LOL 'closet' instead of closest in the last few sentences. Excellent Freudian slip!

  2. Ha good point hahanna I bet this is one of ur most read posts?!