Tuesday 15 November 2011

Date 15: James – ‘Relationships are like laptops’

Who set me up this time?
Anna strikes again. She is the same friend who set me up on date 3.
What did I know about James
James works for a very large online retailer. He is a web developer. He is blond. He is very technical. Anna says that this time she has it sussed and James will be ideal for me.
First Impressions
We met in Shoreditch. James gave me a cool and confident greeting. He seemed like a chilled out character and he came across as very sure of himself. He told me that he thought we could go to a dim sum bar and get some dinner and a few drinks. He was very organised and well spoken. James did not have the looks that I usually go for. For some reason I normally find myself attracted to darker haired men. But I think it is stupid to focus too much on such a trivial superficial feature and decided to date my first blond.

What Happened
We went to the dimsum bar which was somewhere between Old Street and Liverpool Street Station. James asked me if the plan was OK or if there was something else I’d rather do. I told him that I love dim sum. It was nice of him to have come up with a plan but still ask me if there is something that I wanted to do. I was carrying heavy shopping bags and he insisted on helping me out. I thought that this was a sweet touch but he really didn’t have to.
The food was gorgeous. We had seafood, chilli sauce, pak choi and garlic. James ordered the garlic. Garlic is very tasty but famous for making your breath smell. I hoped that wasn’t a hint that I shouldn’t kiss him. Not That I would have anyway but that would just dent my old ego a bit.
We went through the normal small talk: films, music, holidays, universities etc. James was witty and opinionated throughout the date. I personally think that he might have been a little too opinionated but then I share that fault so it was all good. We had some good debates. I believe that I won these (then I am a bit biased), but James held his ground and made some very interesting points. Although on first impressions James did not seem my type, his sparkling conversation made me reconsider a little. 
Then we moved back towards my second to least favourite topic of conversation for a date. The worst topic is ex-partners and the second worst is reasons for why you are single. Luckily, James steered clear of exes but he did ask me why I am unattached. For a joke, I told him that it’s probably because I am too clingy and desperate. Or at least I hoped that he would take it as a joke. Instead his face dropped.  I corrected myself. I really think the reason that I am single is that I have not met the right person. I also think that it has been good for me to be single for some time. I had previously hopped from one serious, long-term relationship to another and it was good to be independent for a while.
I didn’t ask the cringe-worthy question back but James answered it anyway. And his answer was quite unexpected. Imagine my surprise when James compared women to laptops. “In my experience,” he says. “Relationships are just like laptops. When they are new, they are brilliant. They run well and fast and they make your life easier and more fun. But then they start to slow down, get bogged up with memory and all of a sudden they are sh*t. You buy extra storage, try to upgrade them to see if it will help, but it just doesn’t work. Your old laptop (relationship) is stuffy and you need a new and improved one to come along and rock your world again.” And that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part about what James said was that I can totally relate to it. My laptop is terribly slow these days and I am off to buy a mac and an ipad soon.
Maybe that is what I am looking for? A modern laptop man to meet my current needs and a slick ipad man for a bit of fun on the side? Perhaps I too will only stay in a relationship for the short term but then I will want a brand new one? Nah, I can relate to the fact that, similarly to laptops, relationships can start to feel dated, bogged down and well... dysfunctional after some time. But I have always been good to ex-partners and I don’t get bored or frustrated with the people that I care about easily. I gratefully came to the conclusion that although relationships can develop faults similar to that of an old bogged down laptop, I am ideally looking for someone I will not want to replace like an old piece of equipment.
Although James rather cynically compares relationships to inanimate electronic objects, he was fun-loving and witty. I rather enjoyed the evening.
Would I go out with him again?
Yes – under normal circumstances. We’ve kept in contact a little and I know that he awaits this post.
What do other people say?
Other people say that James sounds like one of my better dates but I should probably go out with someone who won’t trade me in for a new Mac.
Would I recommend him to a friend?
Yes

Date Planning 7.5
Rapport 8
Sweetness 7
This was date 15 in my dating marathon. Click the links below to read about my other dates.


2 comments: