The Blind Date Marathon

The Geeky Part – The Results Table

Who have I stayed in touch with?

Why are you still single? How to answer the question

Best places to go on a date - London

Sunday 27 November 2011

Date 16: Cooper – the Australian Booty Call

Who set me up this time?

My friend Liz set me up on this date. Liz was one of the people who originally said that she couldn’t find anyone because all her potentially suitable friends were all spoken for. Then her Australian friend Cooper emailed her to let her know that he was going to be in London for a month and he would like to be introduced to a few people. Liz responded by setting him up on a date with me.

What did I know about him?

He is Australian and he travelled around SE Asia which is where he met Liz. He is another blue eyed blond haired beauty and he is very athletic. He sounded decent! He was very interested in meeting me and participating in the blog. One of his texts read ‘I look forward to showing you the Australian way of dating.’ I had no idea what that meant but I was about to find out.

First Impressions

I met Cooper at Waterloo Station. He came across as chilled out, self assured and eager to socialise. I knew this date was going to be interesting straight away!

What happened?

Cooper told me that one of the best dates he was ever taken on (yes this man has ladies taking him out), was Sea World Australia. So he thought it would be a good idea to take me to the London Aquarium. I had to warn him that London Aquarium is not going to quite match up to Australian Sea World.

London aquarium is a great day out. It’s quite pricey if you pay the price on the door though. There are various offers about so make sure you get at least a third off like all locals do. Cooper had sorted 2-for-1 entry. Some guys might be embarrassed about getting a discounted date but I think it shows that you have financial sense. Charles (date six) also had our meal at 50% discount with top table/taste card. So both were gentlemanly and treated me but didn’t actually spend a bomb. Savvy men!

It was actually a bit strange going on a date at London Aquarium because I think that the last time I visited it, I broke up the most serious relationship I’ve had so far. ]This date was thankfully a lot better though!

Cooper impressed me with his aquamarine knowledge. He grew up by the beach and knew quite a bit about the ocean and its wildlife. His geeky knowledge and passion for the sea made me attracted to him. (So it is official. I can be attracted to blondes!) We got to see several talks. My favourite bit was watching the sharks being fed. They tear their heads around from side to side like in the movies!

Afterwards we went to dinner. Cooper cracked a hilarious joke about taking me to eat sushi. I love sushi and I am relatively comfortable with carnivorism but I draw the line at eating fish raw straight after seeing several swim about.

So instead we went for Thai Chicken Curry. We sat at a cosy little booth around a small round table. Cooper was very flirty with me. Out of all my dates he was the most ‘touchy feely’ and I wonder if the fact that I agreed to go out with him even though he is only in London for a short time gave him the impression I was up for a fling? This probably wasn’t helped by the fact that I have been dating several men recently. That screams ‘PROMISCUOUS’ doesn’t it? I think he was a bit of a womaniser. Definitely not the type of guy my male friend's would set me up with.

We talked about British and Australian comedy as we share a love of both. Cooper had a few jokes of his own. Most of them were pretty crude. We discussed how I got on to the dating marathon which involved me disclosing that I am chronically single. As we said goodbye Cooper told me in his rough Australian accent that should I feel the need to spend the night with him at any point in the future, I should call him because he is definitely up for it. “I can be your booty call,” he offered jokingly. “I really don’t mind helping out a friend.” That was a bit blunt and maybe a bit creepy. Maybe that’s what he meant when he said that he was going to show me the Australian way of dating?

Cooper was really funny, good looking and very confident. Although he was a bit touchy-feely and he offered to be my booty call, he kind of pulled it off. Most men would seem incredible sleazy for doing this. Cooper just seemed mildy sleazy. Maybe it's a racist thing that Aussies get away with it?

Despite the rude jokes it seemed that he knew his boundaries very well and never pushed it too far or got intense. For that reason Cooper came across as a casual flirt rather than crude.

Although I am “not that type of girl”, if I ever were to suddenly feel the need to make a booty call, I guess it would be to someone like Cooper! I strongly doubt it though...

Would I go out with him again?

Yes, I guess so! He’s a bit of a social butterfly and a potential slut but he seems like an honest, fun person to be around. We have exchanged emails and I get his weekly travelling update. If we are ever in the same city again then it would be fun to meet up. Just as long as he knows it’s not a booty call!

What other people have said

That we should go meet him in Australia!

Would I recommend him to a friend?

Yes

Date planning 10 (he’s not even from this country and he managed it)

Rapport 7

Sweetness 6

This was date 16 in my dating marathon. Click the links below to read about my other dates.

Am I too easy or too fussy?

Follow in my footsteps – why go on a blind date marathon?

The Geeky Part – The Results Table

Who have I stayed in touch with?

Why are you still single? How to answer the question

Best places to go on a date - London

Tuesday 15 November 2011

Date 15: James – ‘Relationships are like laptops’

Who set me up this time?

Anna strikes again. She is the same friend who set me up on date 3.

What did I know about James

James works for a very large online retailer. He is a web developer. He is blond. He is very technical. Anna says that this time she has it sussed and James will be ideal for me.

First Impressions

We met in Shoreditch. James gave me a cool and confident greeting. He seemed like a chilled out character and he came across as very sure of himself. He told me that he thought we could go to a dim sum bar and get some dinner and a few drinks. He was very organised and well spoken. James did not have the looks that I usually go for. For some reason I normally find myself attracted to darker haired men. But I think it is stupid to focus too much on such a trivial superficial feature and decided to date my first blond.

What Happened

We went to the dimsum bar which was somewhere between Old Street and Liverpool Street Station. James asked me if the plan was OK or if there was something else I’d rather do. I told him that I love dim sum. It was nice of him to have come up with a plan but still ask me if there is something that I wanted to do. I was carrying heavy shopping bags and he insisted on helping me out. I thought that this was a sweet touch but he really didn’t have to.

The food was gorgeous. We had seafood, chilli sauce, pak choi and garlic. James ordered the garlic. Garlic is very tasty but famous for making your breath smell. I hoped that wasn’t a hint that I shouldn’t kiss him. Not That I would have anyway but that would just dent my old ego a bit.

We went through the normal small talk: films, music, holidays, universities etc. James was witty and opinionated throughout the date. I personally think that he might have been a little too opinionated but then I share that fault so it was all good. We had some good debates. I believe that I won these (then I am a bit biased), but James held his ground and made some very interesting points. Although on first impressions James did not seem my type, his sparkling conversation made me reconsider a little.

Then we moved back towards my second to least favourite topic of conversation for a date. The worst topic is ex-partners and the second worst is reasons for why you are single. Luckily, James steered clear of exes but he did ask me why I am unattached. For a joke, I told him that it’s probably because I am too clingy and desperate. Or at least I hoped that he would take it as a joke. Instead his face dropped. I corrected myself. I really think the reason that I am single is that I have not met the right person. I also think that it has been good for me to be single for some time. I had previously hopped from one serious, long-term relationship to another and it was good to be independent for a while.

I didn’t ask the cringe-worthy question back but James answered it anyway. And his answer was quite unexpected. Imagine my surprise when James compared women to laptops. “In my experience,” he says. “Relationships are just like laptops. When they are new, they are brilliant. They run well and fast and they make your life easier and more fun. But then they start to slow down, get bogged up with memory and all of a sudden they are sh*t. You buy extra storage, try to upgrade them to see if it will help, but it just doesn’t work. Your old laptop (relationship) is stuffy and you need a new and improved one to come along and rock your world again.” And that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part about what James said was that I can totally relate to it. My laptop is terribly slow these days and I am off to buy a mac and an ipad soon.

Maybe that is what I am looking for? A modern laptop man to meet my current needs and a slick ipad man for a bit of fun on the side? Perhaps I too will only stay in a relationship for the short term but then I will want a brand new one? Nah, I can relate to the fact that, similarly to laptops, relationships can start to feel dated, bogged down and well... dysfunctional after some time. But I have always been good to ex-partners and I don’t get bored or frustrated with the people that I care about easily. I gratefully came to the conclusion that although relationships can develop faults similar to that of an old bogged down laptop, I am ideally looking for someone I will not want to replace like an old piece of equipment.

Although James rather cynically compares relationships to inanimate electronic objects, he was fun-loving and witty. I rather enjoyed the evening.

Would I go out with him again?

Yes – under normal circumstances. We’ve kept in contact a little and I know that he awaits this post.

What do other people say?

Other people say that James sounds like one of my better dates but I should probably go out with someone who won’t trade me in for a new Mac.

Would I recommend him to a friend?

Yes

Date Planning 7.5

Rapport 8

Sweetness 7

This was date 15 in my dating marathon. Click the links below to read about my other dates.

Am I too easy or too fussy?

Follow in my footsteps – why go on a blind date marathon?

The Geeky Part – The Results Table

Who have I stayed in touch with?

Why are you still single? How to answer the question

Best places to go on a date - London

Friday 11 November 2011

Date 14: Dan - A Black Man in Waitrose?!

Who set me up this time?

I don’t actually know K very well! I met him through a networking and social club for people from my paternal land of origin, Goa. There are two main networking societies for young Goans in the UK. These are Fenny Fever and YLGS. These societies host events where Goans can connect with other Goans and bring a few non-Goan friends along for the ride. K is soft-natured with a random sense of humour and a passion for US thriller series Dexter. That is why we clicked.

What did I know about Dan?

He was sold to me by K as kind, good looking and fun. I have been told that he’s cool but not a player.

Dan got in touch by text message. I have to say that he is one of the naffest texters of my blind date marathon. In contrast to Date 12 who didn’t say enough, Dan said too much. He sort of rambled for a bit. Some texts were too long, disjointed and with several parentheses in brackets. This might sound like a minor, picky point but when you’re trying to initiate a rapport by text message, your date has nothing else to go by. So it is better to keep it witty and personalised, but also snappy and relevant. Try to exclude brackets and rambling! The texts improved with time.

First Impressions

A Stabbing

Before meeting Dan my friend and I witnessed a stabbing on Oxford Street. It was between some youths and apparently involved a gang dispute. Luckily this was the week after the 2011 riots, another rough moment for London, but it meant that there were ambulances and police all over Oxford Street and the paramedics dealt with the situation in time. Meeting Dan became a bit of a panic. As the police had shut the tube, I ended up 40mins or so late.

No Plan

We met outside Kings Cross station. I explained what had happened and apologised for lateness. Dan didn’t ask whether I was OK or not which I thought was a bit off. Maybe that’s just typical for a bloke but I would have asked! Despite that blip I was actually pleasantly surprised. Dan is pretty nice looking and seemed pretty cool. However, his next words were ‘so where are we going? What are we doing?’ I thought I had made it explicitly clear that he should organise the date but I guess we have another passive man here! Despite the fact that I generally prefer more dynamic men, I still thought that Dan was a lovely guy.

What Happened

Figuring out a plan

I made a decision that we should get on the next bus to Angel. Deep in conversation, we missed the stop and ended up by Old Street. Here, I had to make the decision to get a drink in the next pub and get a bus back to Angel for another. We ended up in Ladybug on Upper Street which is a bit nostalgic for me. However, it is also somewhat tacky and I made the decision to leave before purchasing and go to MISO instead for some food. Dan was pretty absent throughout the decision making process. If you know me you will know that I’d have preferred him to have more of an opinion but still be receptive.

Job Hopper

Dan was a good few years older than me. Conversation centred on jobs that Dan had done. It turned out that Dan was going through a bit of a careers dilemma. He was an official job hopper with a variety of experience but he didn’t feel like he was in a 'career' as such. In fact, he’d just quit his job and wanted to develop something deeper in food photography. He showed me a sample of his portfolio on his phone and they were excellent. He does have a talent there! Despite Dan’s many talents it was apparent that he was feeling down hearted and stressed out at being at the careers cross-roads again. What does this say to your date? I guess most women prefer someone who is confident, capable, secure and successful. Dan only came across as capable. It might sound harsh but these deep sort of conversations about your insecurities and life's frustrations may be a little too heavy for a first date. Perhaps they are better left for later on.

One of the first questions i get asked about a date is what does he do for a living. I think this is a very important point because it influences financial mobility, personal availability, interests and social circles. I personally would find it difficult to date someone who did not feel passionate and driven in what they do.

Still, if you turn down a perfect match just because they do not have their career sorted, then you are an idiot. For one thing, it's a bit shallow. And also in the current recession you would also be forced to turn down a lot of great and smart people who will make great partners.

A Gentleman

Dan was very gentlemanly. He opened doors, bought me a drink. He had impeccable manners. He was considerate. He mentioned various friends and I happened to notice that he had several male and female friends. It's usually a good sign for me if a man has friends of both gender. Overall he was good company.

A Black Man in Waitrose?

We had a few interesting conversations about food, supermarkets and the grocer magazine. This might sound a little boring but liked it as it's my industry. I love a man who has an opinion, and a guy who can cook is incredibly sexy to me. And I love to eat! However, I also uncovered that Dan doesn’t travel and doesn’t really do holidays. He gave me a cold stare when I tried to discuss K and I’s culture. Dan also made this comment, ‘you’ll never see a black man in Waitrose. It’s far too much of a middle class thing.’ Does this suggest that Dan sees all 'Blacks' as working class? Statistically black British people earn less than white people and some ethnic minorities, but there are still a huge number of Black people in this country who are doctors, lawyers, MPs, well educated, affluent etc. Actually my manager is black and so is my GP and just from my personal experience I can think of a few black people who shop at Waitrose!! I pointed this out and Dan just shrugged and accepted that he was basing his comment on his dry humour and local area (Berkshire, I think). Fair enough! Still, it was clear that Dan was not very cosmopolitan and I find that sort of ignorance difficult to swallow.

Dan got the bill when I was in the loo! This was sweet of him. He didn’t have to, especially seeing as he had just quit his job, but it was appreciated.

Would I go out with him again?

I don’t think we are compatible. This was a shame because he is hot and can cook! But I dont think it would work. We are possibly friendship material but it’s not like he lives down the road. The chances are that I won’t see him ever again. Dan is also the only date who never contacted me again! So I guess he sees it the same way.

What do other people say?

“If we ended up talking about the Grocer and the food industry then this date must have been lame!”

Would I recommend him to a friend?

maybe

Date Planning 3 (he turned up on time)

Rapport 5.5

Sweetness 7

This was date 14 in my dating marathon. Click the links below to read about my other dates.

Am I too easy or too fussy?

Follow in my footsteps – why go on a blind date marathon?