The Blind Date Marathon: Date 6.0 Charles – “Well that was a train wreck wasn’t it?”

Who set me up this time

Rahul#1.
I have two friends called Rahul who also share a last name. I refer to this Rahul as #1 because I met him first. Rahul#1 is a politics student who always has controversial opinions. Rahul#1 and I have been friends since freshers week. We have had many tears of laughter together. Rahul#1 and I don’t have huge amounts in common but we both enjoy travelling, debating, sushi and laughter. He is well formally educated, has a hash of liberal and conservative values, hardworking and loyal. One of the things I most respect about Rahul is that he is a real go-getter who is always busy. I expect that, in line with the rest of my male friends, Rahul will pick me out someone financially comfortable, classy, hardworking and gentlemanly.

· What do I know about him

All I got from Rahul#1 is that Charles is American and British, soft-natured and lives in Chelsea. They know each other from working for a blue-chip company as Management Consultants.

Charles sent me a lovely email to initiate hello:

“Hey Holly,

How is it going? Having a good week so far? So Rahul passed on your email address to me yesterday and said I should get in touch.

Hope this doesn't seem a little strange writing stuff to someone you don't even know but he told me about you and it would be lovely to grab some dinner at some point.

Rahul said you are writing some articles for a blog and that you went to Uni together but are now living back in Hertfordshire...well I look forward to finding out more.

Speak soon.

Best Regards,

Charles”

This is the perfect way to say hello to your blind date. It is friendly, relaxed and polite. I am very curious about the date that Rahul has selected for me!

· First impressions

I must have looked like rather odd when Charles and I saw each other. We met on Hyde Park Corner in a summer storm. I was wearing trainers to keep my feet fast and dry and a men’s oversized raincoat for the rest of my body. I felt bad for looking such a state on a date! But I had a dress on underneath and shoes in my bag.

Charles is a warm and welcoming person. My first impression of him was that he was gentlemanly, smartly dressed, soft and tall! Very tall. I’d say about 6”7 to my 5”4.

What happened

Out of principle, I have been stubbornly against cancelling any of my dates. In this case not cancelling turned out to be a rather stupid decision. We met on a Sunday and the Thursday before I had spent 6pm-3am drinking in Soho and then gone to work after only 2 hours sleep. This binge-drinking behaviour is uncharacteristic of me (not counting my student years). But Sneeze had just got a new job and we went to a spontaneous party to celebrate. This night was one of the most brilliant nights out in London that I've ever had. However, it resulted in me lying down in the coffee room the next morning to be found by my colleague. Luckily he was one of my more chilled out colleagues who was supportive and good humoured about the incident. The worst thing about this wild party is that it ended in me losing my voice and developing tonsillitis. And come Sunday, I still couldn’t talk!

Charles was sympathetic that I had no voice and said that he would be happy to lead the conversation. We walked in the pouring rain to the Thai restaurant called ‘The Mango Tree’ where Charles had made a reservation. They took my mens raincoat and put it in the cloakroom amongst all the classy coats that other people had left. The Mango Tree is a stylish popular restaurant. The service was good and I enjoyed the food. As I couldn’t speak very loudly or very much I think that an awkward air started to circulate. Nevertheless, Charles turned out to be one of the most interesting characters I have ever been on a date with.

We began with normal small talk such as ‘where do you work? Where do you live? Etc.’ Then we moved on to discussing where we grew up. Charles’s childhood sounds very different to what I know. He seems to have a very close family but he spent most of his teenage years living apart from them. His parents moved to the US (where his father is from) when he was about 14 and he lived with his older brother until he went to university. As Charles described, in contrast to my 7 person household, he has spent most of his life living by himself.

Charles had had a few troubles in his teen years. He went to a school that sounded rather prestigious but he did not enjoy it. He complained about the way teachers treated pupils. I am not unfamiliar with this complaint! A lot of teachers (not all of course) in the UK are both idiots and bullies and I certainly witnessed some horrible things in education. Charles went to a private all-boys school which sounded a bit old-fashioned to me. He said that one of the teachers put him down for being chubby. It came as a shock that Charles had been chubby or ‘fat’ as he more bluntly put it. These days, Charles seems to be in good shape! I couldn’t help but ask a few probing questions about his weight loss. I know that talking about weight on a date is normally forbidden. But this came up in conversation plus I am genuinely impressed by anyone who has managed to get from fat to trim. Charles explained that when he was a teen, he had been injured in a car accident that put him out of action for a long while. This obviously led to a lack of exercise and a perhaps bit of comfort eating. And he said he got very fat! Charles told me that by about sixth form, he had got back into shape, back to being confident and in contrast to his teens, he thoroughly enjoyed uni. This was probably quite a deep conversation for a first date. But it worked for Charles. I love hearing about people’s ‘character forming’ experiences.

Charles is somewhat unconventional and quirky. He comes across as very in touch with his feminine side. There might even be times when he comes across as a little camp. He’s softly spoken, classy and despite his striking height, he is not at all butch. His favourite films/programmes are Hitch, What Women Want and Gossip Girl. These are not bad choices but they are usually stereotyped as for chicks. I think Charles’ intimacy with his feminine side might put some women off. I really think its fine for a man to be into rom-coms. As a child I was a absolute tom-boy and I got furious if anyone told me that I shouldn’t play football, climb trees, play with mighty max etc because I’m a girl. So I say to hell with gender stereotypes! Do what you want.

From my analysis of Charles I would suggest that he has the classic signs of someone who has had to beat shyness. I don’t want to draw too many conclusions about someone from just one date but this is how Charles came across to me. Signs include: oscillating from quiet awkwardness to bursts of warm conversation, always up for getting involved in activities that are a little random (e.g. a blind date with a blogger), jokes about his own expense e.g he confessed that he failed his cycling proficiency. In his words ‘i was too lame to take my hand off the handle bars’ and apologising (e.g saying sorry for having a cold or having a soft drink instead of alcohol. These are all signs of someone who was naturally a little self conscious but is still sociable and happy to extend his comfort zone.

There were lots of interesting or perhaps I should say ‘awkward’ moments on our date. There was the point when Charles says he hates French people and they hate him - (not very pc!). Charles also had the sniffles. He was snorting a lot at the dinner table which is an innocent problem but I advise him to bring tissues next time he dates someone! When I gave him my tissues he then didn’t know where to put them after use. I advise your pocket, the loo, your lap or even your sleeve. Not the table which is where Charles resorted to! Oops... It’s a bit off putting!

Otherwise, Charles has impeccable manners and I hate admit that my manners are not as polished as his! I had a good evening with good food. I always wanted to try The Mango Tree and I am impressed with Charles’ choice of venue. On the other hand, we were both sick and kind of ill at ease. After the meal, I mentioned that we should probably just go home and Charles responded with a self conscious smile ‘O god, this was a train wreck wasn’t it?’

HAHA it wasn’t a bad one. Having said that, turning up in a deluge with no voice was stupid of me!

I found Charles funny and incredibly intriguing. As I had no voice and neither of us were on top form, I asked for a re-date. In response to Charles’ passion for rom-coms I decided it was best we go see one! So we went to see Bridesmaids! Click HERE for what happened next.

This was date 6 of my dating marathon. The dare was to do 20. Click on the links below to read the rest of my dates:

The Blind Date Email: http://thedatingmarathon.blogspot.com/2011/08/blind-date-email-request.html