The Blind Date Marathon: Date Number 1: A – full frontal nudity on a first date

Who set me up this time

Kelly
Kelly is one of the nicest people i know. I first met her when I was 'the new girl' starting sixth form. she said that she was shy. Despite the self-confessed shyness she was one of the only people who went out of her way to make me feel really welcome when I started a new school. I instantly really liked her. Since school she has come out of her shell and is very sociable and fun loving. I have met a lot of Kelly’s friends at her birthdays and they are all really lovely people. I expect the man she has chosen will be similar.

What did I know about him

One of the most promising things about A was that through facebook, I unexpectedly discovered that he is good friends with Pooja one of my best friends from uni. Pooja is very out-spoken. She is sweet and kind-hearted but also quite feisty. I thought that if A knows two of my favourite people then we should definitely get along.

First impressions

First exchanges were by text message. A was quite good at this! Flirty, good sense of humour and polite. He said that he wanted to put a lot of effort into arranging a nice date for me. Although it is really not necessary to plan an elaborate first date, it does help ease the pressure when a date is organised and runs smoothly. Unfortunately my high expectations were dashed later on in the date.

What happened

I forgot to mention that previous to this blind date marathon I had NEVER been on a formal date before. My boyfriends always started off as friends and unexpectedly progressed into romance. I was actually a bit stressed and nervous about my first ever date. I hate to admit that when I found myself arriving twenty minutes early, I went to a pub to wait and somehow ended up with a double vodka cranberry down my neck.

As a result of A’s wrong directions I ended up outside London aquarium while he was on the other side of the river. I felt like a complete fool when I had to call him and explain that I was lost. Even more of a fool when he explained that I wasn’t on the correct side of the river and he had to come and get me. We had a drink by the London Eye. Conversation included these things which i considered to be lows: he admitted that he was hung over, he started discussing his weight, he described himself as very materialistic, he talked about his ex, he said that he refuses to use public transport. There were highs too. A took me on the London Eye. This was my first time. It’s a good experience and you get to see a lot. A has a fun sense of humour and he definitely made me chuckle. but he stressed me out by asking me ‘what is your greatest achievement in life?’ (I question which I really have no good answer to), I had to tell him that he was making me feel like I’m in an interview. A responded with a light hearted laugh and thankfully changed the subject.

Sadly there were further troubles ahead. I should have mentioned that earlier in the day, while playing play doh flip and serve breakfast, my niece and I had managed to get play doh all over my date outfit. This had left me with nothing to wear but my St Patricks outfit; a bright green dress taking the Peter Pan collar to a daring level. I actually looked like Peter Pan. When I explained this to A he said that he bet that I probably tried on a thousand outfits for him, ‘I like a woman to make an effort’ he said.
That’s a shame. I like to wear jeans and trainers.

As we crossed the river to what A thought was Waterloo tube station we discovered why I was on the wrong side of the river. It was clearly Embankment station. No wonder I got lost following A’s directions. This was actually quite funny and an innocent mistake. However, I cant help but think that perhaps if A wasn’t so snobby about public transport and didn’t get a lift into central London, then maybe he would have been equipped with the knowledge to provide better directions.

A’s geography did not improve. Later on in our date A tried to tell me that Bengal is in South India. His grandparents are from India so I would have expected him to know that it's north east. It’s not a big deal that he didn’t know where Bengal was, but I really don’t like it when someone tries to tell me something when they actually have no clue. Plus after I corrected him A bitterly uttered that I have apparently received better formal education than him. That did not land well with me. And just for the record, I went to a shitty state school with a chronic lack of teachers so I doubt that one.

Despite these blips, the next part of the date was truly amazing. We walked to Trafalgar Square and went to one of the nicest bar I have ever entered (I'm from Hatfield Hertfordshire so perhaps I have low standards). Click here for the link . An exclusive rooftop bar. By the edge where we sat you could see the whole of central London. The view from up here was perhaps better than the one at the top of the London Eye itself. I have to confess that it was really romantic. The vodka cocktails were amazing and the nibbles divine. Brilliant.

The date continued. This date was almost a marathon in itself.

Next we went to one of A’s favourite restaurants. A clearly has experienced some luxury venues. It was Michelin star Chinese cuisine. I believe the venue was called Hakkassan. Whatever it was called, I can tell you that I have never had such amazing tasting rice before. The service was great apart from the toilets which I will explain later. I am not going to lie. The food was delicious! And I must not forget to mention the cocktails! I tried the best cocktail I have ever tasted before in my life. Vodka, Lychee, berries topped with sugared egg whites. This was a first for me and despite initial worries that I was about to grow a guinness –style moustache it was absolutely fabulous. A told me that he loves eating out in top restaurants and he would love to take me out again. As much as I love fancy restaurants, I do not want them to become an every day thing for me. Maybe twice a year could do it? It was a good choice for a date. Despite what went on to happen in the toilets.

Those who know me know that I am a shocking lightweight. I am aware of this weakness but the thing with some premium vodkas (yes it is the vodkas fault) is that they are great at giving you a buzz without the normal drowsiness or warning signs that you are tipsy.

Half way through dinner and we were having a good time. I get up to go to the toilets and A warns me ‘the toilets are really confusing. You need to ask the attendant’. ‘I’ll be fine thanks’ I tell him. So I reach the big gate for the toilets and try to follow the attendant’s advice about walking down the corridor and turning left. But the corridor is dark and confusing just as A had warned. The doors are really just parts of the wall that you push to reveal an entrance. So, I ended up pushing one of the wall-doors to my left. The door closed behind me. In a Bridget Jones moment I realised that I was 2m away from a urinating man. Great. Full frontal nudity on my first first date. At this very second I should have turned back out of the door. But I was a bit shocked. Getting stuck in the urinals of a classy restaurant is a bit like being a rabbit stuck in headlights. Under the haze of tipsyness I just stood there for about 6 seconds watching him finish his business. At this point he tucked it away, forgot to wash his hands, put those hands on my shoulder and guided me out to the ladies. My male friends don't seem to get why it is embarrassing to have walked into the wrong toilets in a posh, classy restaurant. But my female friends do! It's just mortifying!

A spent a lot of time talking about his exes. This was awkward and inappropriate for a first date. I’ll give you an example He asked me what my idea of a good relationship is. I was a bit surprised by the question but responded that it’s probably just a good, fun, honest partnership. He replied that his ideal relationship is one where you can call someone up in the night randomly as say ‘do you wanna go for icecream?’ and she will say yes. A complained that this definition had come out of the fact that one of his exes was not available enough i.e. she wouldn’t go for random midnight snacks with him. This came across as a bit clingy!

The real low of the date though was where he shouted at me. I interrupted A over dinner (my bad) and he rather aggressively shouted at me ‘IF YOU LET ME FINISH’. I was shocked into silence. Then A’s face changed from anger to smugness at my passivity I realised that he’s actually quite rude.

To conclude, I know that I have been really critical here but that mainly because, for me, it's the bad and awkward bits of first dates that stick in your head. I genuinely did had a good time on my date with A. He put in a lot of effort and made my first first date a really interesting one. In his words he wanted to start my blind date marathon with a bang. A can be quite funny at times and definitely has sweet moments. A has two amazing people as best friends, I’m sure he is a nice guy despite the blips on this date. I suspect that in contrast to his fabulous friends, A’s girlfriend would ideally have very low self esteem and share the passion that A has for fancy restaurants and material things.

What other people have said:

Kelly and Pooja maintain that he’s a nice guy. Others have told me straight to stay away!

Would I go out with him again?

No, but if I meet him again then I will be polite and try to view him afresh.

Would I recommend him to a friend?

No

Sweetness 3
Rapport 4
Date Planning 8