The Blind Date Marathon

The Geeky Part – The Results Table

Who have I stayed in touch with?

Why are you still single? How to answer the question

Best places to go on a date - London

Date 10: Martin: FAIL!!

· Who set me up this time

Rhona
We met when we were 11. We bonded over textiles, woodwork and food technology. We hated all three lessons but managed to have a good time anyway by laughing at my horrific creations like banana and peanut pies. They were BAD! I remember our teacher’s response when we got As in our GCSEs. He saw me in the town centre, pulled up his car and shouted at me ‘Hey, how on earth did you and Rhona get an A?!!’ Thanks Mr. Howells! Rhona is strong minded, principled and fun. Just to demonstrate what a good friend she is, Rhona managed to set me up with someone even though she currently lives in Vietnam. Row is my ‘mate for life’.

· What do I know about him

Despite the praise that I just sung, there is another side to Rhona. She is a little mischievous and has a habit of getting me into trouble! Date 10 was a rather peculiar ‘blind’ date because over a year ago on one very hazy night, I had actually been introduced to Martin. It was the worst introduction ever.

Sometime 2009: The story goes that Rhona had described her new boyfriend to me as tall, kind, intelligent and good fun to be with. He seemed really nice and much better than the guys my friends normally date. Naturally I had to ask Rhona if he had a brother. And when she confirmed I said “cool. I’ll take him then.” Martin was that brother.

Rhona’s birthday 2010: I was at home trying to complete the coursework from hell. I hadn’t seen Row in ages. I hadn’t eaten all day. I left my coursework looking like a state. Even though the deadline was looming I wanted to make sure I got to Rhona’s birthday party on time. But I didn’t! The trains were cancelled, I end up missing the first bar and arrived 2 hours late. To make matters worse my ex-boyfriend unexpectedly turned up at the party! I necked a few beers but they didn’t really do what they were supposed to. Suddenly, Rhona pulled me up to some guy and shouts, “Martin meet my friend. She wants to SHAG you!” This is one of those moments where you should probably just laugh. Instead I just let my jaw drop and cringed! The next thing I remember is Martin telling me as politely as he could that maybe I should talk to someone else.

I am 100% convinced that as this was just a silly drunk moment that occurred over a year ago, and Martin will not remember.

In summary, I know that Martin is Dominic’s brother, and that if you get introduced to him as the one who wants to shag him, it can be awkward. As I was unable to get details from Rhona (in Vietnam) I googled Martin. Can you imagine my horror when I discovered a photo of him with gherkins up his nose? Did Rhona really think that I wanted to shag this man? Well, at least he doesn’t take himself too seriously and as Rhona said, “don’t worry about the date. I’m sure it will go well and even if it doesn’t it’ll be another funny story!”

· First impressions

Martin got in touch by text message. His messages were always well written, witty and made me laugh. He explained that he wanted to go on a half outdoor adventure, half city holiday – Tick 1. He was busy at Glastonbury – tick 2. He thought I might like to go see a comedy – tick 3. Would I like to go for beer and burritos – tick 4. He watches the apprentice – tick 5. I started to get suspicious that Rhona was telling this man exactly what to say.

· What happened

On the whole, this was a pretty good date. However, a blind date post without criticism would be a missed opportunity. So I will make sure to dot in some brutal comments.

I went shopping on Oxford Street before meeting Martin. I was buying trashy dresses thanks to my mid-20s crisis. Then I went straight to the Brewmasters Leicester Square. It's bit of an 'old man’s pub' right opposite the tube station. I was a little early and Martin was running a little late. Earlier on in the day, I had one GIANT can of redbull (the freaky sized ones you get a Boots) at work and another giant can of redbull on Oxford Street. I didn’t really want alcohol before my date so I went for the next best thing that the pub had to offer. Another redbull! This was the first fail of the evening. Those who know me know that I am very sensitive to caffeine. Also the bartender accidentally put a vodka in it. On the upside, I complained and didn't get charged for the vodka.

Another English rainstorm had hit London. When Martin arrived my jaw dropped. Water was literally rolling off his face and onto the pub floor. Get a raincoat! He made a friendly hello and he seemed pleasant.

Martin got me a beer and we chatted. Turns out we both went to Catholic primary school but didn’t believe in much of the RE we were taught. We shared accounts about the moral stories that we were taught by our teachers. This cracked me up. We had a few bits in common. Martin knows my area as he has family nearby. He also worked as a contractor in the building right opposite mine! Martin is fun to talk to overall. He seemed really hyper like he’d been on the redbull too. He has a really loud voice and talks quite fast.

One bad thing Martin did was he made fun of the company I work for and the fact that I am on temporary contract. Don’t insult what somebody does 38 hours a week on a date. This could at very best be seen as awkward banter and at worse seem very rude and stupid.

Next we went to the US-Mexican fast food restaurant Chipotle.

I was quite impressed that Martin had managed to guess that I liked beer. Date1 thought it unladylike for women to drink beer and that had irritated me. In comparison Martin seemed down-to-earth and a lot more in touch with women. Martin didn’t even laugh at my mens raincoat. So I asked him, “how did you guess I drink beer?” He gave a response that gave me a sweep of dread, “You were drinking it at Rhona’s birthday party.” NOOOOooo! He remembers! I think that my face must have dropped as Martin smiled, “Rhona seemed to be doing her best to embarrass you the night.” Yep. Thanks Rhona! I should have known that men don’t forget it when you are introduced to them as the one that wants to shag them!

Martin comes across as a bit of a bragger. He is always talking about amazing festivals he’s attending, great summer holidays, drunken stories and the perks of his wonderful job. He works for a mysterious company that cannot be named. All I know is that he really loves his big computer screens. I hope that he does not work for some sort of internet porn company. I prefer to see him as a spy. Perhaps a little Johnny English. The reason that bragging is not such a good idea on a blind date is that it will likely come across as either pretentious or a desperate attempt to impress. In some cases, it might even come across as if you are trying to compensate for lack of personality. In Martin’s seemed as though he simply ‘loved himself’. This is not as bad as it sounds! It is kind of annoying but much better than hating yourself and the rest of the world (such as date 9)! I think that Martin has a refreshingly positive attitude to life and maybe even some boyish charm.

Suspiciously close to my interests, Martin took me to see comedian Sam Simmons. I almost thought that Rhona had been giving him tips. But then she is in Vietnam so it's probably just coincidence. I had been hoping that one of my dates would take me to a comedy show. The show was bizarre but engaging with enough laugh out loud moments to be called good but not enough for superb. There were a few strange bits that reminded me of Garth Marenghi and a few more standard stand up pieces. Try this link for a taste.

The show was called ‘Fail’ which was an apt title really as this described the rest of the night. Just kidding but there were a few bloops. By now I’d had 2 giant redbulls, 1 regular redbull, 1 vodka and 2 beers. This is overkill for a lightweight! I was feeling edgy, high and thirsty. So I ordered a soft drink. Coca Cola please! Martin gave me a bewildered look that said ‘lightweight’. Needless to say that I had forgotten one of the key ingredients of coca cola: caffeine! FAIL! I was jittering. I really did not want to finish my drink but it felt rude not to seeing as Martin had bought it for me. I also could not stop talking. FAIL!

We decided to go for a drink after the show. Unfortunately Martin didn’t know any good nearby bars. FAIL! We walked around for a bit finally settling for O Bar. FAIL! Not a top choice but it’s better than walking the streets. Martin had been generous throughout the evening and I offered to buy him a drink. I was absolutely mortified when the jobsworth bar tender wouldn’t accept my card unless I had another 3 shots to the tab to get it to reach £10. I even said to the bartender that she could have the three drinks herself, take a tip or put them through the wastage but she refused all options. Noooo! FAIL! On the brightside O bar does some cheap drinks! Martin had to come and rescue me and pay for the drinks again. This was an embarrassing dent in my pride!

I had a cocktail and we swapped drunken tales. We even discussed how many strip clubs we’d been too. Oops! FAIL! Drunken tales can make your date worry that you are alcohol reliant. Even if you do use alcohol as a crutch and see no shame in it, limit drunken tales on a first date to a minimum. Save them for later! I personally think it is better to guard your more wild side and let it out gradually.

During drinks things started to lag a little. Martin does not come across as the type of guy who likes to stay up past his bedtime on a school night. To be fair, neither do I but what happened next left me with no choice. By the time I got to Kings Cross station I was exhausted but in a good mood. Then I found out that the last train had been smashed in by vandals. FAIL! They prepared another train to take us home but unfortunately this added another 2 hours to my journey time. FAIL! After such a long day, I ended up asleep on the manky train seats. FAIL! I set my alarm to wake me up 5 minutes before my station. My alarm vibrates and beeps very loudly so I thought that there was no chance that I wouldn’t hear it. Just to be sure I put it under my head as I slowly shut my eyes. The next thing I knew the carriage was shaking and there was a loud siren in my ears. I screamed and jumped up on my feet throwing my bag to the floor.To the shock and embarrassment of everyone on the carriage, the scream continued for ages. FAIL! People even came in from the next carriage just to check I was OK. SUPER FAIL! I ran off the train OK but very shamefaced. Luckily Martin didn’t get to witness this. I finally got home at 3am. This is why I like it when dates who know that you have a long journey home give you a text to see how you are. Martin didn't but nevermind.

From the very first text message Martin stood out from the crowd. Martin has a lively way of expressing himself which is quite geeky but also pretty funny! A message he sent me about cheese had me cracking up in the office. I have a bit of a geek fetish and I hope Martin doesn’t mind me describing him in that way. Out of all my dates, Martin took the whole blog thing in the best humour. In contrast to some of the others, he did not see my blog as a soppy romantic plea. Martin understood it as a dare/social experiment which should be both comical and educational. It was Martin’s wacky idea that I should make top trump cards of all my dates. I didn’t take it that far but the ‘planning, sweetness and rapport’ measures at the end of each date post were inspired by him. Plus to back up his quirkyness Martin is also warm and polite. I actually spent a while trying to think of criticisms for Martin. The only one I could really think of is that he talks a bit too loud!

Here’s a text I received from Martin that will give you a hint of how this man is a little "different": “hey so I was sitting by the pool in Ibiza today with my laptop, and I knocked together my own blog version of our date.” OMG! Shock horror! Click here to read.

· What other people have said

My colleagues seem to really like the sound of Martin. They especially liked the fact that he wrote a blog back at me! Others have said that he sounds like an fun loving character.

· Would I go out with him again?

Yes, well under normal circumstances anyway.

· Would I recommend him to a friend?

Yes

Date Planning 8

Rapport 8

Sweetness 8.5

This was date 10 of my dating marathon. The dare was to do 20. Click on the links below to read the rest of my dates:

Am I too easy or too fussy?

Follow in my footsteps – why go on a blind date marathon?

The Geeky Part – The Results Table

Who have I stayed in touch with?

Why are you still single? How to answer the question

Best places to go on a date - London

Thursday 22 September 2011

Date 9 Mark: Bowling and Politics

Who set me up this time

Kareena
I met Kareena in Brighton while I was studying at the University of Sussex. She was studying Economic Development at the institute of development studies. She now lives in Ghana working on projects to help improve education and internal trade in Ghana. Despite being abroad she managed to set me up with one of her friends from school.

What do I know about him

In Kareena’s own words, Mark is not suitable for me. She warned me that I might prefer someone who didnt smoke so much, drink so much etc. I told her that it doesn’t matter as long as he is game. The dating marathon is about variety. Plus it should be up to me to decide who I like. Having said that I was a little worried! Mark is working in a starter position for a big manufacturer. He has a degree in business.

First impressions

Mark seemed pretty nice. He gave me a little hug to say hello. He didn’t really give me much eye contact. I thought that that was a bit off. It made me feel self conscious like there might be some food on my face or perhaps I was just looking hideous. But Mark might have just been shy or distracted.

What happened

Mark took me bowling. This was a bit different for me and I thought it was a great idea. Conversation in the bowling alley was normal small talk. It was pleasant. Sadly, I am terrible at bowling! I prefer it when you have the sides up and then you can bounce the ball off the edges. On a first date I was too embarrassed to make this suggestion. I must have lost a few balls but didn’t do too badly. Just as well really because I found myself desperately trying to compete with my date. But he still thrashed me.

Next we went to a Chinese buffet. I was still eager to beat Mark somehow so I got competitive about how well we could use chopsticks. I think that I won.

Over dinner I started to realise why Kareena did not think that Mark was suitable for me. He is incredibly cynical! Unfortunately Mark comes across like he’s one of those people who focuses a little too much on the negative side of life. He talked about the recession, corruption in Western society, racial political inequality and trade monopolies. It annoys me a little when people talk about corruption in wealthy countries such as Britain, Germany, America etc as if these are the only countries that have crooked governments. This division is just a bit simplistic. I told Mark this and then tried to change the subject but conversation got back on depressing political philosophy straight away.

It is really important to question society and have strong ethical views. But I still think that Mark’s choice of topics was dark for a first date. As I sat there humming Bobby McFerrin in my head, I tried to end Mark's rant.

We started to talk about work. Oops I currently work for a trade leading retailer. Obviously Mark did not approve. At this moment I had to ask a pressing question, ‘Mark do you ever do cocaine?’ I have permission to publish his answer but I won't. All I will say is that, as with most illegal drugs, I highly doubt that any cocaine in the UK is guaranteed fair trade. Surely the cocaine trade is one of the most brutal industries on the planet? If you do cocaine then please do not lecture me on trade ethics. You sold yourself out on that one for a self-indulgent buzz. I offered this opinion to Mark. Next question "what make are your trainers?" The answer was Converse and Nike. At least at this point Mark was able to admit that he doesn’t practise what he preaches about trade and consumerism.

I guess we are hypocrites on one level or another. I agree with Mark that we should question the ethics of trade and bear in mind that some manufacturers and retailers exploit people and dominate markets. But then I don’t always live perfectly to these standards. I own the odd primark and H&M item! Perhaps I could do more on this subject but I really didn't appreciate the lecture on a first date!

Mark also made a few cynical comments about minority reservations in certain industries. Boo! Shut up!

I’m going to be brutally honest here. The impression I got is that Mark is an intelligent person who is slightly frustrated that although he has had the best starts in life (private schooling, first flat bought for him etc), he still doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life. I think this might be why Mark lashes out at society so much. In his words, ‘It’s easy to be cynical about society when you're in the middle of a recession and you haven’t got a clue how to make a living".

I much preferred the bowling part of the evening and the lighter parts of conversation we had over chinese food. I do genuinely like Mark but I am definitely looking for someone who comes across as more fun loving. I love the deep reflective side to Mark’s nature but I really think that this should be balanced out by some activism (to practise what you preach) and more focus on the great side of life! Both Mark and I agreed that our date was a fun experiment that we both reflected on, but we are not compatible.

Would I go out with him again?

Nope. We clashed.

What do other people say?

Sounds like we would have a few interesting debates but overall I suit someone who is more positive about life.

Would I recommend him to a friend?

Maybe! If he lightened up a little.

Date Planning 8

Rapport 4

Sweetness 5

This was date 9 of my dating marathon. The dare was to do 20. Click on the links below to read the rest of my dates:

Date 1: A – Full frontal nudity

Date 2: Seb – A man in tights

Date 3: Alan - the softy

Date 4: Christian – Hot Trinidadian

Date 5: Darren – Too into his ex

Date 6: Charles – Trainwreck part I
Date 6.5 Charles – part II

Date 7: Nick the Greek

Date 8: Brett – Poptart

Date 9: Mark – Bowling and Politics

Date 10: Martin – FAIL
Martin’s Perspective

Date 11: Daniel – DILF

Date 12: Crow – Chronic Bail
Date 13: Jubilee –French Accent

Date 14: Dan – A Black man in Waitrose?

Date 15: James – Relationships are like Laptops
Date 16: Cooper – The Booty Call

Date 17: Brendan – When a man Out-dresses You

Date18: Sam – The Reluctant Dragon

Date 19: Ami – My Lesbian One Night Stand

Date 20: Devontay – If I were a few years younger...

Am I too easy or too fussy?

Follow in my footsteps – why go on a blind date marathon?

The Geeky Part – The Results Table

Who have I stayed in touch with?

Why are you still single? How to answer the question

Best places to go on a date - London

Wednesday 21 September 2011

Date 8: Brett – Burger, fries and pop tarts

Who set me up this time

Carrie
Remember Carrie who set me up on date 4 – Christian the hot Trinidadian? Carrie is incredibly competitive and she was determined to find me a match for date 8.

What do I know about him

The last person who Carrie set me up with was too much of a player for me. We got on but our date went from romantic to platonic pretty fast. Carrie said she would try and find me someone soft and romantic instead. I warned her that I’ve already done that (date3) and it didn’t really work out but Carrie convinced me that Brett was different. Brett is American and works in Advertising and graphic design.

First impressions

I tried to view Brett on facebook but I had not managed it. I had no idea what he looked like other than the fact that he had dark hair. We were meeting at Kings Cross train station – London, which is one of the busiest stations in the world. It took me a while to register that it was Brett when I saw him. He was nothing like I had imagined. Carrie had given me this vague description: ‘American with dark hair.’ I would have described him more like this: ‘American, New York accent, big animated eyes, 5”10 and originally from South Asia’. How could Carrie have missed out the fact that this guy was brown skinned? Was she worried that I would think that she is racist or something?

What Happened?

Brett and I had spoken earlier in the week over the phone. He had explained to me that as I am British and he is American, he thought that I would expect him to take me somewhere serving food from the US. I agreed. Big hearty portions and sugary snacks are great! I am not trying to say that that's what all American people eat but that is the stereotype we all know and love and that’s what I wanted! Brett took this comment on board. We got on the tube and he took me to an American Steakhouse/Burger Joint near the Strand.

I ordered a veggie burger and crinkle cut chips. I was tempted to order onion rings as well but I thought this might make my breath smell. I am highly unlikely to kiss anyone on my blind first date marathon blog (imagine if I got with all 20 guys) but still I do not want stinky breath!

Conversation centred on New York and how it differs from London. Brett said that if it wasn’t for his family then he wouldn’t be able to choose between London and New York. But because his family live in New Jersey and he misses being able to see them more regularly, he will probably end up in New York. He also pointed out that he would be paid more and get a lot more for his money in New York.

I have never been to New York and listening to Brett's description made me want to go more than ever! Brett came across as a family oriented person. This is cool. I am family oriented too and I generally find it easier to get along with people who share strong family values.

Brett explained that his heritage is ¾ Indian ¼ Irish American. He speaks broken Marathi/Hindi but as a third generation immigrant who is not religious he is more acculturated into Western society and he finds it easiest to identify himself as ‘Asian American’. That makes perfect sense to me.

Then conversation took an unexpected turn. I have Brett’s full permission to write about this. We were talking about opposites attracting and we ended up discussing the film ‘Along came Polly’. In the sex scene of this movie, to try and make the sex last a little longer the lead character starts to distract himself from the moment by counting in his head. In the final second he screams out ‘50’! See this video from 2.00 for full details. Haha. Brett chose this moment to admit something very weird and personal. He grinned and with a sincere yet bashful face he told me that instead of counting to fifty he just pretends he’s talking to a distant imaginary old aunt in Marathi. This is probably one of the strangest things that anyone has ever said to me on a date. I wonder if Brett was just teasing me! In his own odd words Brett said that as he never talks Marathi in a sexual way he associates it with celibacy. Therefore, speaking Marathi in his head when he is in bed with a woman helps distract himself from the sexual tension. Apparently this helps him make sex last! If Brett ever does online dating I hope he doesn’t include this in his profile. It is not a very good way to sell yourself!

At the end of our deliciously unhealthy grub, Brett presented me with a wonderful gift. This gift showed that Brett is obviously a man who listens. In response to my declaration of love for junk food he had bought me a box of cinnamon pop tarts and a packet of twinkies from cyber candy! ‘Here’ he said. ‘I wanted to make sure you had an American breakfast’. Haha this was so random, so cheesy and yet so brilliant. Nice touch. They went down really well.

We said goodbye at the tube station. Brett left it that he would not talk to me while I am doing the blind dating marathon. But if, when I’m finished, I am at all interested in meeting him, then I should give him a call. As I live far away and was travelling after dark, Brett text me to make sure I got home safe. That was nice. I went home thinking I had met someone interesting, kind, funny and with a good appetite. All of these are top qualities!

Would I go out with him again?

I don’t think that I will call Brett. But honestly, if these were normal dating circumstances and he asked me out again, then I would have said yes.

What do other people say

Considering the fact that he wants to live in New York and I would never permanently leave the UK, people have said that this match would not be long lived. Personally, I do not think that far ahead but I will still not be calling him.

Would I recommend him to a friend?

Yes.

Date Planning 8.5

Rapport 7.5

Sweetness 7

This was date 8 of my dating marathon. The dare was to do 20. Click on the links below to read the rest of my dates:

Am I too easy or too fussy?

Follow in my footsteps – why go on a blind date marathon?